Today’s post is about….shopping.
Just think about the latter part of this week, when lots and lots of folks, freshly fueled by the consumption a large, flightless bird, stuffed with a nearly lethal mix of bread, spices, sausage, amphetamines, and Ripped Muscle X Factor, head for the malls. Their congenial, green, family car has been retrofitted to be menacing enough to suit that well know warrior of the wasteland, the Lord Humungus. I’m thinking some sort of scythe-like snowplow blade, enough armor to put a Humvee to shame, and a port in the back to drop buckets of nails on the tarmac, should someone in a competitor vehicle be angling for that object of desire, a prime parking spot at the mall. The car rumbles to life in the garage, and instead of the sprightly cry of, “Let’s go shopping, kids!” the mom, sitting in the navigational seat, with traffic pattern screens glowing in front of her, kitted out for all the world like she’s going to roller derby practice, says simply, ala Joan Allen in Death Race, “Release the dreadnaught!”
And all that happens before you even get into the stores.
A much more civilized approach might be to sit back in your comfy chair at home, and leave the bashing to the guys playing football on the flat panel, and click over to the Kelby Cyber Weekend. You can, without ever leaving the glow of the fire, a nice Merlot in hand, dial in the best photo instruction out there. Think about cuddling up with your computer as RC Concepcion walks you through the jungle-like maze of the world of HDR. (Well, it’s RC on the screen, so maybe cuddling is too strong a word.) Or stalk big game pictures with Moose Peterson. From what I hear, Moose is so back to nature he conducts most of his classes clad only in a loin cloth, his body slathered in bear fat, carrying a D4 in hand and clenching a hand made knife between his teeth. (I mean, that’s the rumor.)
Or, if you are more hardware inclined, I have a special program for buying gear. It’s called, “Email Jeff.” He has been my “camera consigliere” for many years, and if I am curious about something, think I need something, wonder about a price, stock, and availability thereof, I simply tap Jeff Snyder into my computer. He appears on the screen almost instantly, swami-like, chanting the life lessons of photography….”Be the pixel, be the pixel, be the pixel….” Admittedly, I have a special app that makes all this happen.
Seriously, [email protected] has been my path to gear purchases for many years. He knows what you need, and, even more importantly, he’ll be straight up about what you don’t need. And as you can see above, he’s quite the rakish, charming dude behind the big lens:-))))
Darren Elias says
I met Jeff at the Flashbus tour in Philly and he helped me make my switch from one camera/gear brand to Nikon, and he’s been my go-to guy ever since! Always helpful!
I see you received and like the portrait I sent 🙂
Lee Turner says
Have a Happy Holiday Joe! Hope to see you in Seattle soon.
JerseyStyle Photography says
Playing omnibudman here:
Um,Joe…Turkeys CAN fly: http://www.livescience.com/7630-5-surprising-turkey-facts.html
I think it’s only Opus, he of Bloom County fame, can be called a flightless (water) fowl.
And don’t get me started on the turkey buzzards at fly all over Upper Monmouth County here in NJ. Some of those puppies are so big, they look like they’re ready to swoop down and snatch my two year old. Or one of my lapdogs.
Happy Thanksgiving to Team McNally. And to your camera consigliere as well.~ Mark
Win Ong says
Thank you for the laugh. Your writing is always witty, entertaining, and informative. Happy Thanksgiving to you and family and Cali.
Jason Kaye says
Saw that photo of Jeff and immediately thought of our times at Churchill Downs.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
What has been seen cannot be unseen….squeeze eyes tightly closed while buff Moose dances across the screen.
Joe McNally says
We have it framed, Moose:-))))
bill bogle jr says
Turkeys can fly? Not in Cincinnati. At least not from a helicopter.
Yes, wild turkeys fly.